Momma asked that the Sanderosa beach be her final resting place. Home to all her favorite memories. As we walked out onto the beach, it was cold, the sun was shining bright and the ocean was sparkling and emerald. It truly looked like heaven.
We laid out the Sanderosa sign that weathered many hurricanes as it hung on the old house, and us girls each read something in memory of Momma. Jason sprinkled her ashes on the beach, around the sign and into the ocean. We fed the seagulls, cried, hugged and threw flowers into the Gulf. It was beautiful and sad. I felt so close to all these memories we shared together with Momma on that beach. Some felt far away and some just like yesterday. And my heart was breaking for what I would give to be sitting out there with her one more time.
Jay read the poem below out at the cemetery before we made the drive out to the old Sanderosa lot.
Momma was a spiritual person, and I think it spoke to all of us girls perfectly.
When Tomorrow Starts Without Me
When tomorrow starts without me
And I'm not there to see;
If the sun should rise and find your eyes
All filled with tears for me.
I wish so much you wouldn't cry
The way you did today;
While thinking of the many things
We didn't get to say.
I know how much you love me
As much as I love you;
And each time that you think of me,
I know you'll miss me too.
But when tomorrow starts without me
Please try to understand,
That an angel came and called my name
And took me by the hand.
She said my place was ready
In heaven far above;
And that I'd have to leave behind,
All those I dearly love.
But as I turned to walk away,
A tear fell from my eye;
For all my life, I'd always thought
I didn't want to die.
I had so much to live for,
So much yet to do;
It seemed almost impossible,
That I was leaving you.
I thought of all the yesterdays,
The good ones and the bad;
I thought of all the love we shared,
And all the fun we had.
If I could relive yesterday
Just even for awhile,
I'd say goodbye and kiss you
And maybe see you smile.
But then I fully realized
That this could never be;
For emptiness and memories
Would take the place of me.
And when I thought of worldly things
I might miss come tomorrow;
I thought of you, and when I did,
My heart was filled with sorrow.
But when I walked through heaven's gates
I felt so much at home;
When God looked down and smiled at me
From His great golden throne.
He said, "This is eternity
And all I've promised you;
Today your life on earth is past,
But here it all starts anew."
"I promise no tomorrow,
But today will always last;
And since each day's the same day,
There's no longing for the past."
"But you have been so faithful,
So trusting and so true;
Though at times you did do things,
You knew you shouldn't do."
"But you have been forgiven
And now at last you're free;
So won't you take my hand
And share my life with me?"
So when tomorrow starts without me,
Don't think we're far apart
For every time you think of me,
I'm right here in your heart.
Margaret "Peggy" Viola Sanders Sparkman
July 2, 1948-July 2, 2011
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