Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Inch By Inch

After losing my dad, I have found it hard to go back to the way things were before he died. I am sure most everyone feels this way after losing someone they loved.

Today I went to a Step class up at the Y. I used to go every Tuesday, but I haven't been able to get myself back since my dad died. It sounds stupid. It is just a workout class. But it is hard because I don't want things to revert back to how things used to be because my life isn't the same anymore. I have talked to my sisters about this periodically. It is almost like you want the world to stop. You want to put it on pause because any step forward means that it is one step further away from the last time we spoke to him or the last time we hugged him.

But no matter what-things move forward, and I have to roll with it. I can't freeze my life. I am just having a hard time today feeling the normalcy of the every day coming back.

(Janie. When I was in my class this morning, I wanted to call you. Because out of all the places, a step class has to be the last place you would expect to hear the song "American Pie" playing. It was a dance remix...but still...isn't that so crazy.)

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