Millionaire's On!

I can hardly believe it has been 9 months. It doesn't feel real.

The past month has been one of the hardest yet. I am not sure why. 4th of July? I think that was one of the hardest holidays ever. I suppose it is the times when I know what I would be doing with him that are the most difficult. But his absence slips up on me almost daily. Regardless of holidays.

It is when I need help or have a question. I can't even begin to count how many times Jay and I have been debating something while around the house or riding in the car.

How much horsepower did our old Chevy Blazer have? How often do we need to service the lawnmower? My car is oveheating so what do I need to do? A baby bird fell out of my tree, what should I do to help save him?

And neither one of us knowing the answer would just say..."Let's call my/your dad." Because he was the one who would always know.

How much did he know...he even surprised me. I spent 15 months studying for the ARE back in 2007-2008. There were 11 exams, and they were broken down into various disciplines. And they were a nightmare to take. Long, tedious and boring. So to get prepared for the tests I typically studied for 4-6 weeks. I would spend hours sitting at my card table reading over books and taking practice exams. Or I would sit out on our deck and have Jay run through flash cards with me.

I was studying for MEP (mechanical, electrical & plumbing), and I was really struggling with some of the concepts involving electrical. It was completley foreign. Hertz. Watts. Ohm's Law.

Ohm's Law. What? I read and read about it, but it just wasn't sticking. And Jay (I am not sure if he was half joking) said "Let's call your dad..Phone a friend..like on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire." So I did. I called him up and explained my problem with the principles of electricity. And no lie. My dad got quiet and said..."Well, you need to understand Ohm's Law if you want to understand electricity." I was truly floored. How on earth did he know about Ohm's Law? I told him so and he laughed. And then he went on and explained the theory and started breaking down the ideas into something I could understand. Telling me to pull out my stove to read the labels..or grab my hair dryer and read the tag. By the time I got off the phone, I got it. And took my test a week or so later and passed.

I know every daughter thinks their father hung the moon and are all-knowing. But my dad truly was the person all of us in my family went to if we had a question. Or needed help. And it is during those times in my life now where for a second I almost grab my phone to call him. Seeking his advice.

It is a struggle day to day for me. Missing him so much. But it is even harder to look out on all the years ahead and know that I will not have the comfort of his voice to help me through life. He gave me so much I know, but I just don't want that to be it.

I miss him terribly. I feel it etched over every square inch of me.