Delta Blues

It has been a quiet week and a half, and I think mostly because my mind has been on Nanna. She passed away last Friday (4/6) evening with my Aunt Penny, Aunt Mary and Julie by her bedside. And no matter that we all knew it was coming, I still feel the heaviness of her being gone.
Sally, Janie, Tudor-Beach and I were there with her the weekend before, and I will never regret making the trip. We had originally planned to go Easter weekend, but Jay said that if I was feeling up for it I should go sooner. He didn't want me to regret missing an opportunity to talk to her one last time. It was a difficult trip to say the least because I was tired, sore and emotional. But Nanna got to meet Tudor-Beach. I got to hold Nanna's hand and hug her. And kiss her. And look into her eyes. And say goodbye. Each heartbreaking, tender and sweet moment from that weekend is marked in my memory.

After we lost Momma, we made several trips to Greenwood to visit Nanna. I was only a few weeks pregnant during one of our first visits, and Sally and Janie told me I should share the news with her. I was hesitant because of the past couple of miscarriages, but I ended up writing her a note and leaving it on her pillow when we were set to leave for Atlanta. I swore her to secrecy. I remember the phone call the next day from her. She was over the moon and was convinced my mom had a hand in this happening for me. But more than that, we were so happy to have a bright spot to focus on during such a sad time.
When Momma passed away, we showed up at Nanna's house. Within a few minutes I was sitting next to her and we were holding hands. Too scared and sad to look into each others' eyes. But when we finally did we were crying. She grabbed my hands and told me that she was going to do everything in her power to be here for us girls. To help us through our loss. She said I know I am old and my days aren't guaranteed, but I will try and be there for you because your mom will not be.


She was there for us in so many ways since July. She made sure we had a happy place to spend our holidays. She listened to all the details of my doctor's visits when I called her.  She wrote letters to Solon and Luke letting them know how much she loved them. She bought Ansley her first piece of jewelry. She was there in all ways she could be when Momma was not.

At Nanna's service, I had a few people tell me that Nanna had told her Dr. specifically that she had to make it to her 9th grandbaby's arrival. And she did. She met Tudor-Beach when she was ten days old. She told friends about our visit and that she was able to meet Tudor-Beach in person. I can't even think about this without breaking down in tears. With all the things she was dealing with, her thoughts were as always centered on her family.

Nanna was amazing. I can't even put into words how she has shaped and guided our family. I can just say this is an end of an era. I hope that all of us..her family..can honor her with remaining close and being all that she was in her life.