Dentist Again

I was convinced I was going to need a root canal.

I went to the dentist Wednesday after feeling some pain in one of my molars. I was just there 3 weeks ago, so my dentist was a little confused when I walked in the door. He sat me down in one of the chairs and looked over my chart. He asked what was the problem, and then told me to open wide. He looked at the tooth that was bothering me and then sat back and crossed his arms. All was fine and my tooth was cavity-free.

He was quiet for a minute, and then he asked me if I had something stressful or traumatic happen to me recently. The tears started pouring down my face out of nowhere. Yes. Something did happen. It took me a full minute of sitting there before I could tell him that I had recently lost my dad. He handed me a box of kleenex, and told me to not be embarrassed to cry. He said that my body was responding to my grief, and that this was translating itself into me grinding my teeth. He said he also noticed I have a slight twitch under my right eye. I said yeah..this started happening about 3 weeks ago. Then he started talking. He had tears in his eyes as he told me that he lost his father 28 years ago, and how still to this day it is hard to think about him and not be sad. He told me his father was a well respected pediatrician and that he died suddenly of a heart attack. He told me that it was two full years before the grief lessened, but eventually good memories filled its place. We talked about grieving and he stressed to me how important it is to go through the process. And if I didn't deal with it properly then my body was going to start telling me.

He left me there to clear my head and said that he would check on me in a bit. About 20 minutes later, I came out and walked towards the reception desk. And this song came on. Alicia Keys "No One." I love that song, but I turn the channel every time it comes on now. Because I have this image in my head. Jay, Jason, Sally, Janie and I were in the car. It was late at night, and we were leaving my dad's house in Perdido. We had just finished with the Sparkman Christmas where Janie had gotten the Alicia Keys CD, and we were driving back to Jason & Sally's house. We all loved the song, and had it turned up crazy loud. The windows were rolled down and it was freezing outside, but we were all singing. That song just makes me think of how things change so quickly, and how they will never be the same.

So as I was walking towards my dentist, this song comes on and I am crying all over again. He gave me a hug and said that no father would ever want to see his children sad, and that I need to just keep in my heart that my dad lives in me and in Solon. He gave me another hug and handed me a handful of dark chocolate Hershey kisses for the road. And told me that if I ever need to talk to just show up in his office. Such a strange experience. My dentist prescribing me chocolate and telling me to come in if I needed to talk. And I honestly felt a bit better when I pulled out of the parking lot.